Saturday, February 18, 2006

Gun registry - no People registry - yes

"Sooner or later, Canadians will have to carry some form of identification other than a passport to travel outside the country," says the new federal minister of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness, Stockwell Day.

Why isn't a passport good enough, Doris? It's worked just fine so far, both for travel to the US and abroad.

"Day said the need for identification of some sort came up again this week when he spoke on the phone with his U.S. counterpart, Homeland Security' Secretary Michael Chertoff", who we all remember for being praised by Bush as "a practical organiser, a skilled manager and a brilliant thinker" and for being in charge of the US gov't response to Hurricane Katrina and for helping to craft the war on terror.

See, it doesn't matter if Doris is a nutter as long as he surrounds himself with good advisors.

So, Doris, you're against gun registry but for people registry?

Doris later confided he wished his ministry had a really cool name like Homeland Security - blam! blam! blam! - instead of a lameass one like Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness, which kind of reminds him of helping little kids cross the street and stocking up on extra candles and tinned goods.

4 comments:

Bazz said...

You're absolutely right that poor Doris's ministry needs a new, catchier, name. My own humble suggestion would be "Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti" - it rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it!

Rev.Paperboy said...

I think Stockwell's Security or Konservative Kabinet Kommandos make for catchier initials.

Registering people makes sense if you follow the NRA theory that guns don't kill people, people do. I like Chris Rock's suggestion that it isn't guns that are the problem, but bullets. Lets impose a $5,000 surcharge on each round of ammo and force people to register each bullet.

Alison said...

rev :
Much as I like the idea of a 'small k' kkk, no one else is using KGB at the moment and besides it comes with that really cool crest with the sword and the hammer and the scythe.

Department of Doris?

Rev.Paperboy said...

that would make it the DoD just like down south, perfect!

Oh, I should mention that I've added creekside to my blogroll

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