Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Really really alternative fuels

There's a surprisingly entertaining article on alternative fuels by award winning author Judi McLeod in Canada Free Press this week. The argument is a little complicated so let me walk you through it carefully step by step.

1) John Travolta believes in space aliens and that alien technology may save us.
2) Travolta was in a movie called "Murder at the Presidio". (Ed.note: No, he wasn't.)
3) Nancy Pelosi once invested in the real estate company known as Presidio Partners.

4) Fort Presidio was a San Francisco military base that was sold off to private ownership,
5) at which point someone said there were no power or electrical boxes at Presidio.
Ergo :
6) "Friends of Pelosi claim that Nancy has “the source”. "

What?
No, I don't know what Nancy Pelosi's "the source" is and the article doesn't say.
Well, yes, it could be an alien ship, I suppose.
After all, alien alternative fuels is a very new science and no one knows much about them yet.
Hmm?
No, I didn't check to see if it was from The Onion this time.
Uh - "entertaining". I distinctly said, "entertaining".

Oh, go and read it for yourself then.

H/T to Anon commenter under "Who says the Right isn't funny?"

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I did wonder if this was Judi McLeod's attempt at an April Fool's Day joke. Except it's one day too late and McLeod's other articles have been just as batty.

Honestly I think the woman has mental health issues.

On a somewhat related note, Salon has an interesting article about equally unstable CFP columnist Rachel Marsden.

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2007/03/29/marsden

Dan said...

Hold it. I see where she is coming from - it's genius, actually. The tagline of "Murder at the Presidio" is "You can't pull rank on murder." Who had the highest rank? General John Pershing (uh-huh! - same first name as Travolta). If you visit the Presidio of San Francisco, there are memorials at the park in his name, and the site of the first full-time firehall on a military base (built when his family tragically died in a fire). Fire = global warming. General = power. Pershing is also a missile... or “space ship. Aliens. It makes perfect sense.

Alison said...

Very, uh, interesting site you come from there, Dan. Obviously your expert background in batshit conspiracy theory contributed to your most excellent analysis here.

Perhaps the answer we seek lies in some kind of similar language code. Hmmm...
P-r-e-s-i-d-i-o : Pelosi - Repubs Enraged She Is Democrat In Office.
Naw, that couldn't be it.

No, no, Anon, we don't be attractin no litigious stalkerwomen back over here. Seriously.
Two swats at CFP is more than enough for me. Only did it so googling freepers will run into them and maybe think twice about how foolish they want to look in their laughably continuous quoting of CFP.

Gazetteer said...

dan--

By George, I think you've got it!

except, uhhhhhh....

Isn't George the monicker of that famous crooner Jones which is, of course, also the surname of the Reverend Jim.

And the good Reverend, reputedly, at at least according to Armisted Maupin, once lived in in a hidden cottage just over the hill from the Presidio in Golden Gate Park.

And, although Maupin has nothing to do with with this story except, perhaps, for some unacknowledged commonalities with Mr. Travolta in terms of lifestyle choices, it is eminently clear that the good Reverend really knew how to get his flock to, well flock, to the world's most powerful Kool-Aid......

Or some such thing.

Jan said...

And freepers are very much the-glass-is-half-full-of-Kool-Aid kinda guys.
OMG. The aliens are obviously communicating with the freepers through CFP. That explains quite a lot, actually.

Ross: lifestyle choices ;)

DanJ said...

I see exactly what you are saying, Gazetteer. Follow the revelations. Yes, Armistead Maupin and Rev. Jim Jones, both born May 13 (1944 and 1931). And what is it that we want from protective domes and global warming? Truthiness! And who else shares that birthday, born in Washington, DC, like Maupin, but exactly 20 years later? You got it, Stephen Colbert. And the other “Word” from Colbert was what?

“Dec 14, 2005. “Stephen: …and it’s tonight’s Word: Travolta. You may remember John Travolta from the 1976 TV movie “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.” In that movie the bubble protected Travolta and what more could you want for the most important person in the free world. (A pope-mobile!) Bubbles guard against things that could hurt you like bad information.“

http://www.tv.com/the-colbert-report

It all makes sense. The final piece... who was born on Dec 14? Dennis Rodman (1961), EXACTLY 30 years after Armistead Maupin. Yes, Dennis Rodman, who has already been outed by two reliable sources (Third Rock from the Sun, and Men in Black) as a space alien. I rest my case.

Gazetteer said...

danj--

Stop it.

You're scarin' me!



___
(still, if you could tie Laura Linney and/or Olivia Dukakis into this thing well.....I'd be willing to go back in the house. But I will not pick up the polonium phone.)

danj said...

One more and then it is complete. Who else was born Dec 14?!? You guessed it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostradamus

He, and CFP, forsaw it all.

Gazetteer said...

Ya, but do they make him in chocolate?

Alison?

.

Alison said...

I don't know about Chocolate Nostradamus, Ross, but did you know that Tycho Brahe - also born on Dec 14 - had a chocolate nose he wore only on special occasions?

Blog Archive