Monday, September 27, 2010

Long John Flaherty's Talk Like a Prat Day

Long John Jim Flaherty's speech to the Canadian Club last week might well read like he was running for student council at Garden Gnome High, but at least he has finally nailed down that whole four legs good, two legs bad, one peg leg argument about coalitions :
In the global recession, the ship of state has had a difficult voyage.
But we can see the harbour lights.
And that’s just when a would-be captain and his ragtag crew are trying to storm the bridge.
If they seize the wheel, ladies and gentlemen, they’ll have us on the rocks.

Oh noes, pirate parties!

Flaherty, the Finance Minister of Canada, managed to fit the word 'coalition' 13 times into a speech in which the word 'economy' rated a mere 8. So are we in election mode? Fuck, no :

"The coalition led by Mr. Ignatieff has its own agenda – power, power, power.
Under an Ignatieff-NDP-Bloc Québécois government, nothing would be safe."

Sorry, wrong clip ... I scrolled too far ahead... ah, here we go :

"...there is, I regret to say, a political risk.
That is the risk of an unnecessary election, an election that would jeopardize our economic recovery, just as we enter the home stretch.
Canadians don’t want an election. Our government isn’t seeking one.
Ladies and gentlemen, an unnecessary election would put all of this at risk."
"Unnecessary election"?
Weren't you the same guys who already gave us an "unnecessary election" in 2008 because you had no freakin clue how to work with the other parties and you were hoping for a majority which would mean you wouldn't have to?
Canadians are tired of political instability.
They are tired of elections every two years.

Yeah, got it. You've said that twice now
And they know we need a stable government, to ensure our economic recovery and long-term growth.
There is going to be an election, sooner or later.
The coalition may make it sooner.
Regardless, when it comes, Canadians will face a stark choice.
The outcome will be a majority government, one way or another.
A stable, national majority under Stephen Harper’s leadership.
Or the reckless coalition of Michael Ignatieff, the NDP, and the Bloc Québécois.

Ok, forget the pirate thing. We've apparently metaphored into stables now. Stygian stables of steaming floor to ceiling horseshit.
"A stable national majority" under Steve the Unsteady?
The guy who rolls out of bed in the morning, spins the agenda wheel, and decides to axe anything with the word 'long' in it? Long form census one day; long gun registry the next.
Steve the Economist who pissed away a $13-billion dollar surplus in favour of a $40-billion deficit, who has the fucking gall to go on about our fragile economy while blowing $1.2 billion on summit security, and who padlocked the doors of Parliament twice in thirteen months rather than deal with living in a stable democracy.

You're not getting your Stygian stable majority, Steve, because even in a minority government you behave ridiculously like Darth Vader in the Deathstar cantine ordering up prorogies when you don't get your way.
You should have learned this from your last "unnecessary election".
Stability will only come from you learning to work nicely with the other elected , uh, pirates.
And that's why we keep giving them, not you, a stable majority of Canadian votes.

1 comment:

kootcoot said...

Alison, your mastery with words has brightened my morning - Garden Gnome High - exceptional and Steven Harper as Darth Vader ordering "prorogies" - PRICELESS. Keep it up........

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