Con Convention '08 : Running with scissors

BigCityLib says Winnipeg may just become the most hilarious city in Canada next week when the Cons hold their big ConConvention and publicly air their C.R.A.P. :

"A Conservative Government will support legislation defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman."

Yeah but not this Consevative Government - what else you got?

"The Conservative Party supports investing significantly in increasing our scientific knowledge base and in making firm and fair decisions based on facts ..."

Um .. yeah. Well, ok, I get it, CRAP, baby steps and all that ...

"Food. Food is one of the basic necessities of life, and a Conservative Government places high priority on assuring that Canada’s food supply is safe, secure, and sustainable."

OK, that's good - keep it mind-numbingly obvious. No need to mention your recent policy forays into having the food industry police itself into listeriosis ...

"... an investigation into the security of our long term freshwater resources as they pertain to exportation as a commodity."

Mentioning water exports as a commodity is pushing your luck a bit though, isn't it?
I also notice the original proposal was "protection and security of" but "protection" got crossed off somehow ...

"... recognizing the need for improving security and improved relations with the United States and establish a study of the feasibility of a North American perimeter."

Whoa! CRAP! What happened to not looking scary? Now is hardly the time to be rediscovering your Reform roots.
But wait! What's this? Antonia Z at Broadsides :

"Protecting Pregnant Women
The Conservative Party supports legislation to ensure that individuals who commit violence against a pregnant woman would face additional charges if her unborn child was killed or injured during the commission of a crime against the mother."

Not the anti-abortion C-484 thingey again? Seriously?
You guys may as well all go get fitted for new muzzles right now before Big Daddy gets home.