Saturday, October 12, 2013

Camelot Security Establishment: "It's only a model"

Michael Byers makes a good case that Canada's military procurement is like a Monty Python movie, akin to "a knight riding a make-believe horse while knocking two coconuts together."

Also rather like the dead parrot sketch but he missed the most obvious Python Holy Grail allusion of all  - that DND is building CSEC a massive new $1B home they've nicknamed Camelot.
The Camelot sketch from Holy Grail is one of my all time faves so here it is with updated Camelot Security Establishment lyrics below.  Sing 'em loud!

Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home - let us ride to Camelot.

We're Knights of the CSEC Table
We hack whene'er we're able
We snoop emails and "Search" details
On fibre optic cable.

We dine well here in Camelot
Coz a billion bucks buys quite a lot.

We're Knights of the CSEC Table
Our building's formidable, 
Catching Pierre Poutine is not our scene
That case is unbreakable.

Brazil is mad at Camelot
Coz we sing to NSA a lot.

As spooks we're tough and able
Quite indefatigable.
But Greenwald's leaks on our techniques
Have made things quite unstable.
It's a busy life in Camelot
Appeasing Uncle Sam a lot



Holly Stick said...

Ha! Excellent lyrics!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Great lyrics!

West End Bob said...

'Ya done good, M'Lady!

On another note: Have you attempted to complete the Captcha words in order to comment? They're gettin' virtually impossible to decipher . . . .v

Anonymous said...

Bob, keep hitting the refresh button under the captcha box til you get something you can read. This took me 8 tries.

Well done, Alison

deBeauxOs said...

Today's laugh. Gawd, I love this kind of humour, it reminds me of Wayne and Schuster...

Captcha is horrible, can't tell anymore whether those distortions are a m or two letters: r mooshed up to a n. So I keep clicking too until I see one I can decipher.

Boris said...

What is it with spies and lavish HQs? The Brits built something gaudy out of Lego in London a few year back. Maybe it's some psychological compensation for a trade that pretty much involves not being noticed.

Might also say something about the nature of the world. Back in teh Cold War spies had a very real and dangerous job. These days it's clearly not military and strategic intelligence, but business intelligence. Anti-terror is more about preventing someone from blowing up a metro than stopping an invasion of Western Europe or a nuclear war. We've got very expensive armies and very expensive spies who have lost the institutional memory of what it's like when the threats were existential.

Alison said...

Thanks, all ;-)

Interesting how height and magnificence of buildings reflects their occupants' power in society - cathedrals, government, through to corporations.

Cheltenham GCHQ looks like a spaceship being worshipped by cars.

Boris said...


There really isn't much of a difference in roles the between intelligence services and IT companies these days!

Alison said...

Ha! Totally spaceship.
I guess only paying 1.9% in corporate taxes frees up a lot of money to build your own privacy, even if you don't much care for that of your customers'.

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