Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Muldoon and the Oliphant

"The time has come," the Oliphant said,
"To talk of many things:
Of envelopes stuffed with wads of cash
And if they came with strings--
Perhaps you only beat the rap
Because the pigs were schwings*."

"But wait a bit," the Muldoon cried,
"Before we have our chat;
I have complaints to make," he said,
"Regarding Steve the Fat."
"No Hurry," said the Oliphant,
"There's always time for that...

But was that 'pasta' money used
To give Joe Clark the axe?
Is turning noodles into LAVs
A job for party hacks?
Did you stash that $300,000
To avoid a fulsome tax?"

"O weep for me," the Muldoon said:
"For all of it is lies."
With sobs and tears he socked away
His 2 million dollar prize,
And held his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

* "After years of investigating Mulroney, the RCMP never found out about his job with Schreiber or the now infamous cash payments. However, the Mounties did chauffeur Mulroney to the hotel at Mirabel Airport where he picked up the first batch of thousand dollar bills."
Additionally the Canadian public had to fork over $2.1-mil to stem the flood of tears.


West End Bob said...

Ahh, poetry to my ears, Alison.

As for that schwing-thing: Perhaps the boys in red were too busy scarfing down doughnuts and double-doubles to pay attention to who the PM was meeting with . . . .

Anonymous said...

O Frabjous Joy! - Cost of the Oliphant Inquiry : $14 million.


Q said...

Excellent... can't wait for the Lego version ;)

A national catharsis is over suggestion is banishment to the iron mines of Elba just like that other pompous asshole Napoleon.

Alison said...

But, Q, didn't Napoleon escape from Elba?

Q said...

True, but only to meet his Waterloo...and yes he was much too comfortable on Elba...perhaps banished to Bowen Isle where he could spend his last days skipping rocks seaside while being ridiculed daily from creekside?

Anonymous said...

Fucking lol!

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