Sunday, October 12, 2014

4am in a bar - the leaders of the *free world*

Steve : Just say "I stand with Saudi Arabia" a bunch of times, wait for the press to repeat it, and there ya go. Canada! Fuck Yeah! Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, yeah ...

Barry, Tony, Dave: No. No. No.

Barry : Look, Steve, I know that 'I stand with whoever ' line works for you up there in Canada but picture me going home and saying : "You know that country that 15 out of 19 hijackers came from that bombed the WTO on 9/11 ? Remember them? Well, funny thing - they've gone and got themselves into a bit of a jam by funding ISIS, another made-in-Al Qaeda group, so we're going to help them out here by going back into Iraq again to bomb their batshit out-of-control wahhabi-zombies before they start WWIII." 

Tony : You have to admit it would be pretty fucking awesome to put it out there like that.

Barry : Yeah, hi-larious. No, leave the Saudis out of this.

Dave : What we need is some kind of babies being thrown out of incubators onto the floor thing like we had for Kuwait.

Steve : Do they have to be brown babies again? Couldn't we use something bad happening  to white people this time? Kinda makes it more immediate for folks back home. Also we need reports of ISIS about to attack us at home. 

Barry : No problem - minor logistics. But we're also going to need heroes, people that our voters can really get behind and cheer for. 

Dave : What about hot chicks in camo with guns?

Tony, Steve : WTF? Get outta here.

Dave : No really. There's this battalion of guerrilla Kurd female fighters spanning Iran, Iraq, Turkey, and Syria.  Some of them - very hot. Plus, the peshmerga commander of Kurdish forces in Kobani is a woman.

Barry : ... "The female fighters defying ISIS - mothers, wives, daughters - risking their lives every day to protect their homes and families" ...  Yeah, that could work.

Tony : I've heard of them. Didn't they evacuate thousands of Yazidis under attack from ISIS? - an operation I believe you took credit for, Barry. Fuckin' doomed now though, aren't they, eh? Pinned down defending Kobani for three weeks with their ammo running out and Kerry says meh to those hot peshmerga and PKK chicks. 

Steve : PKK? The Kurdistan Workers Party? Wait, aren't they ... terrorists? Aren't they Marxists?

Barry : Who gives a shit, Steve? It's not like they're going to win - we'll just drop some bombs on some empty buildings out in the desert and everybody goes home happy.

Dave : Speaking of going home ... I've got an early flight out of here in the morning - time to call it a night.

Steve : Already? We should really do this more often, guys. Hey, have any of you ever met a real Bilderburger - you know, one of the guys actually named Bilderburg?

Barry : Say goodnight, Steve.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Ex BC Liberal Premier Gordon Campbell works for Harper. Harper is a Bilderburger. Gordon Campbell, Nigel Wright, Jason Kenny, Alison Redford, Brad Wall. Conrad Black was on the Bilderburger steering committee. Conrad Black was also a member of, Harper's Northern Foundation of 1989.

Just follow the dots and the dots do connect.

Anonymous said...

I like that you're able to keep your sense of humour Alison, even when you're dealing with such grave matters.

Anonymous said...

And if that 'PKK chicks' thing doesn't work out, there's always 'Chicks who love Guns'.

Anonymous said...

Fucking atrocious what's happening in Kobane. 4 days ago the chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff said Kobane would fall to IS. 4 days later Kurds still holding IS off, vowing to fight to last man or woman, asking for air support. Pentagon has the fucking balls to answer "We don't have a willing, capable, effective partner on the ground inside Syria right now."

The Mound of Sound said...

Alison, you perfectly capture the point that our 'war on ISIS' is pure political theatre. Once again we're going to the Muslim world to play "whack-a-mole." No plan, no strategy and no intent to achieve any particular outcome beyond degrading their capability - i.e. dropping a bomb or two on them.

It's an admission that neither the American nor the Canadian, British or Australian public is willing to back another intractable ground war (quagmire) in Iraq.

It also admits that, if we really want to end these Salafist monstrosities, we would have to be bombing the palaces of princes and sheikhs from Saudi Arabia to Kuwait, Qatar and the rest of the Gulf States.

Maybe Obama could start with a drone strike on Bandar-bin-Sultan. Sorry, what was I thinking? Bandar is a close, personal friend of the Bush family.

Beijing York said...

Brilliant. This line just nailed it:

[i]Steve : Do they have to be brown babies again? Couldn't we use something bad happening to white people this time? Kinda makes it more immediate for folks back home. [/i]

Stevie was pretty stoked by there being Christians trapped on that mountain this past summer. If only they were white - he could have gone full on boot on the ground invasion mode.

Anonymous said...

Why Is the US Bombing Grain Silos in Syria? Oct 12
"The U.S. is conducting a curious humanitarian war against ISIS in Syria. While Kobani, the largely Kurdish district that straddles the border with Turkey is being attacked by ISIS forces and facing the very real possibility of mass civilian killings if it falls, U.S. military spokespersons claimed that they are watching the situation in Kobani and have conducted occasional bombing missions but that they are concentrating their anti-ISIS efforts in other parts of Syria. Those other efforts appear to consist of bombing empty buildings, schools, small oil pumping facilities, an occasional vehicle and grain silos where food is stored to feed the Syrian people. Turkey also seems to be watching as the Kurds of Kobani fight to the death against ISIS."

Shame on Turkey for Choosing the Islamic State Over the Kurds

"Kobane will be a victim of the double game of Turkey, which, after having let pass every jihadist in the region and closing its eyes to the heavy weaponry that Daesh’s forwarders had been sending for weeks toward the besieged city and that is now being used to shell it, shuts everything down, blocks everything, plays the innocent while immobilizing not only its own troops but also the ten thousand Kurdish volunteers who have come forward in Turkey to try to save Kobane."


Anonymous said...

VP Joe Biden at Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government:
"The Saudis, the Emirates, what were they doing? They were so determined to take down (Syrian President Bashar) Assad and have a proxy Sunni-Shia war, they poured hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of tons of weapons into anyone who would fight against Assad. Except that the people who were being supplied were al-Nusra and al-Qaida and the extremist elements of jihadis coming from other parts of the world."

Anonymous said...

ISIS Leader Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi Trained by Israeli Mossad, NSA Documents Reveal

"The former employee at US National Security Agency (NSA), Edward Snowden, has revealed that the British and American intelligence and the Mossad worked together to create the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS).

Snowden said intelligence services of three countries created a terrorist organisation that is able to attract all extremists of the world to one place, using a strategy called “the hornet’s nest”.

Alison said...

Anon@9:40 : Edward Snowden has said nothing of the sort.
Your link to Global Research, which publishes an inordinate amount of crap in addition to its better stuff btw, in turn links to this Snowden story published in July in the Gulf News, the Voice of Bahrain. Snowden hasn't mentioned it, Greenwald hasn't mentioned it, the Intercept hasn't mentioned it.
How fucking likely do you think it is that Edward Snowden is now giving scoops on NSA docs solely to the Voice of Bahrain?

Unknown said...

Yes I've found Global Research can't be trusted all the time, it makes me wonder what their agenda is with a mix of truth and outright lies.

I was thinking about publishing a balderdash article with them to see if they would post it, then I realized it would be an absolute waste of time when there are other pressing issues out there like taking Harper and his imperium and collaborators to Federal Court.

I rest my case read and weep 1% war mongers you will be tried as you have been weighed and measured and you do not pass muster.

Harper will end up in his 'new' jail cell, I call this 'just dessert'.

e.a.f. said...

that was funny. Like a Saturday Night Live sketch. Unfortunately, given the "players" in this skit, it most likely would not be a joke. With harper and his ilk in power, we really could get into a ww and who needs that. Oh, right I know the arms dealers need it and so does stevie, he needs to be re-elected.

Let the middle east sort it self out. Its not our problem. we fucked up IRAQ already, lets not make the problem worse. Turkey is just sitting around waiting for the Kurds to all be killed. Then when ISIS crosses the border into turkey, we are going to be expected to "protect" them. Hell no, let them figure it out themselves.

Alison said...

e.a.f. : "It's not our problem."

Did you ever see this post I wrote in response to a comment from you in August, e.a.f?
Ethical arms sales from Canada. In 2010, underwritten by Canadian taxpayers, Canada sold "Chemical or biological toxic agents, riot control agents, radioactive materials, and related equipment, components, materials" to Qatar.

Kurds in Kobane are currently reporting chemical weapons fatalities

In Bush's war on Iraq, US soldiers were injured while recovering chemical weapons stashes dating back to the 80's when US companies were supplying both Iran and Iraq with sarin and mustard gas agents used to massacre Kurds in 1988.

This isn't an argument for renewed Canadian boots on the ground, but I don't think we get to say "it's not our problem".

Anonymous said...

"Over the summer, Islamic State fighters took control of a vast former chemical weapons facility northwest of Baghdad, where remnants of 2,500 degraded chemical rockets filled decades ago with the deadly nerve agent sarin were stored along with other chemical warfare agents, Iraq said at the time."

"9:59 A.M. Turkish planes hit Kurdish targets in southeast Turkey

Turkish warplanes attacked Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK) targets in southeast Turkey on Sunday in the first significant air operation against the militants since the launch of a peace process two years ago"

Unknown said...


I do not like to be the harbinger of bad news but every single one of us on this beautiful blue green water planet are to blame.

We have not been smart enough to stop the stupidity.

"Life is like a stew, you have to stir it frequently, or all the scum rises to the top" ---> Edward Abbey!

Anonymous said...

It may just be that these military operations coupled with the rather obvious ties between the West, its middle east allies and IS and these same state actors pointing here and there that Iran is connected to all the regional turmoil - which doesn't make all that much sense on the face of it.

I do recall a very real threat made by China if the US were to ever engage in direct military operations against Iran though.

One would think that the inaction by Turkey, a NATO member, in its close proximity to Kobani, is being asked - or earn its stripes - by standing down from taking any proactive action.

Given how much influence the war industry has on political actors, them getting their way doesn't seem that far off.

Can any of us really bring to mind a principled statesman these days who has any influence to alter this current course?

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