Saturday, June 19, 2010

New York Times Reports Vast Quantities of Bullshit

A brilliant take-off from The Flying Rodent (h/t dBOs at Bread and Roses) :

U.S. Identifies Vast Quantities of Bullshit in Afghanistan
The U.S. has discovered huge deposits of bullshit in Afghanistan, far beyond any previously known reserves and possibly enough to fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the war itself.
on the recent NY Times story :

U.S. Identifies Vast Mineral Riches in Afghanistan
"The United States has discovered nearly $1 trillion in untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan, far beyond any previously known reserves ... The previously unknown deposits — including huge veins of iron, copper, cobalt, gold and critical industrial metals like lithium ... could eventually be transformed into one of the most important mining centers in the world"
Key NYT phrase : Afghanistan will become the "Saudi Arabia of lithium"
Well I guess it's catchier than : US Remembers Vast Amounts of Mineral Info in Old Russian Books Written in the 1980's or NY Times Stenos New Reason for Occupation of Afghanistan With Release of U.S. Geological Survey Report Already Online Since 2007.
Once it was considered in some quarters an anti-American conspiracy theory to accuse the US of occupying Afghanistan for regional control of mineral wealth. US funding of the 'Taliban' in the 80's to help stabilize the region for pipeline building has come full circle. Now it's apparently the new selling point.


thwap said...

You know, when i first heard of this, i thought that they'd just discovered this and were using it as a justification for their occupation.

But I was unpleasantly surprised to find that they'd dug-up this old info for the specific reason of inventing justifications for the continued occupation.

In short, the masters of reality are lamer than i thought they were.

Alison said...

I think the figure of $1 trillion from "United States officials" -now there's a vague attribution - is all that is new. Well, that and the breathless "we'll be rich beyond our wildest dreams" subtext.
First we were there for revenge, then the little schoolgirls, then "democracy" and "stabilization"; now it's down to being owed something on all that investment.

opit said...

Well, it's up to 3 now. If it was really that good going I could see where there would be some real fun wresting it from the locals - and China, which has done a good job of tying up the futures market in rare earth elements necessary for computer electronics.
That could make the notes of 1000 'Americans' and 300 Brits killed in the 'Stan this go round seem rather small potatoes compared to potential losses.
No, I think Dave Bath over in Oz in his Balneus blog on WordPress had it nailed : if scarcity improves price then you can't improve on the investment potential of leaving 'resources' in the ground.
Then again,BP and Helliburton give that another consideration down in the Gulf.
Think the Cubans, etc. will get 'compensated' ? The ammonia part of the story alone is a hummer. Won't be a problem if they extinct us all blowing up a vast methane deposit with a nuke,

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