Thursday, February 09, 2006

"Superficial criticism"

It's a bleak couple of days in Canadian politics when Vice President Stephen Harper's other cabinet appointments are so awful that no one has any energy left over to poke fun at the new Minister of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness, Stockwell Day.
Sure, we're all relieved that an anti-gay anti-abortion anti-sex education young earth creationist who believes that dinosaurs once walked among men and who, along with Stephen Harper, co-authored that 2003 open letter in support of the invasion of Iraq is not representing Canada internationally as Minister of Foreign Affairs.
But what exactly will his responsibilities in Emergency Preparedness entail and what has he said about them in the past?
According to Wikipedia, Doris will be responsible for:

  • the RCMP

"Gun control responsibilities are taking police officers off the street and adding to crime."
- Stockwell Day, at an anti-gun control talk in Ontario's cottage country, 2000.

  • the Canadian prison system

"People like myself say, 'Fix the problem. Put him in the general [prison] population. The moral prisoners will deal with him in a way we don't have the nerve to do.'"
- Stockwell Day on why serial child-murderer Clifford Olson should serve his life sentence in the general prison population.

  • CSIS

"There was no meeting in which I was involved at all... No money was ever given. No contract was ever signed.... I mistakenly assumed that the individual in question may have been one of the many people that our members of Parliament introduce me to on a daily basis... However, after talking with [Alliance MPs Darrell Stinson and Myron Thompson], and my staff, and consulting my schedule, I can confirm that I was not introduced to him and have never met this person.... Contrary to the Globe story, there was never any suggestion that this individual would investigate the prime minister or his Shawinigan business dealings..."
- Stockwell Day, denying a report in the Globe and Mail that he had met with a private investigator who would have been hired to dig up dirt on the Liberals, April 8th, 2001. The Globe and Mail stood by the story.

  • the Canada Border Services Agency (what the rest of us call Canada Customs)

"Just as Lake Erie drains from north to south, there is an ongoing drain in terms of our young people but hardworking people -- entrepreneurs, job creators, research people -- who continue to move foward..."
- Stockwell Day trying to create an analogy between the flow of Lake Erie from "north to south" and the brain drain from Canada to the US, October 24, 2000. In fact, the river drains from south to north.

OK I made that last one up.

Stockwell Day quotes from In Their Own Words


Anonymous said...

Stockwell is correct in his assumption that Lake Erie drains from north to south. It is a lake not a river, and the drainage basin covers parts of Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York and Ontario. But I still think his elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

Bazz said...

"However, after talking with [Alliance MPs Darrell Stinson and Myron Thompson], and my staff, and consulting my schedule..."

Myron Thompson can talk? Who knew?

Alison said...

senor :

"Globe and Mail Update

Niagara Falls, Ont. — Stockwell Day mislaid his compass Tuesday at the Canada-U.S. border, slowing him down for a second consecutive day in his effort to showcase his economic prescriptions for the country.

In the second campaign slip-up in as many days, the Canadian Alliance leader again saw his messages on fixing the brain drain obscured, as a result of a sense of misdirection over which way one of Canada's major bodies of water flows. Mr. Day was attempting to draw a parallel between Canadians who go south to the United States for work, and the flow of Lake Erie. The problem with the analogy is that the lake migrates toward Canada, not away from it.

"Just as Lake Erie drains from north to south, there is an ongoing drain in terms of our young people in terms of our country," Mr. Day told reporters Tuesday while standing in front of a picture window that framed the Niagara Falls below.

When informed later that the Lake drains into the Niagara River, which travels north, Mr. Day said he planned to talk to the staff member who gave him the bum information.

"We will check the record," he said."

This is a wording thing, isn't it?

But as regards Doris' elevator, it doesn't stop at most of the floors and that year round Naivety Scene on the mezzanine is just creepy.

Anonymous said...

Yes, dear.

Anonymous said...

Found your link on First Draft. Yes, you do have a problem. My suggestion: Make your own evacuation plans, store your own food and water, etc., because you folks look as though you're going to be in the same position as Americans, and especially those along the gulf coast.It's called YOYOS, You're on your own, suckers. By the way, why do you call him Doris?

Anonymous said...

He's called Doris because of this:

"Compounding this suspicion [of Day] was the Alliance's direct democracy proposals, which were revealed in the middle of the campaign to contain a clause saying any petition with 3% of Canadian voters' signatures would trigger a referendum on any subject. This caused many to fear that "special interest" groups would use the low requirements to put contentious subjects to a national referendum.
Satirists would have a field day with the Alliance campaign; Rick Mercer and This Hour has 22 Minutes had a mock online petition that, in the spirit of the proposed clause, called for a referendum on whether Day should change his first name to Doris. The petition garnered more than a million signatures."

From Wikipedia's entry on Day.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Hi-larious!

Anonymous said...

Why call him Doris:

riley dog said...

The border guards will be armed with bibles.

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