Sunday, July 09, 2006

7-Q!da rOxxOrs!

Members of an alleged terrorist ring were arrested today in a daring predawn raid on RCMP offices in Ottawa, Toronto, and Montreal. A joint US/Canadian security task force had been quietly monitoring RCMP communications for several months when they noticed a sudden increase in RCMP terrorist-related activities. Undercover operatives were then sent in to make contact.

"When we approached the RCMP, they immediately offered us cell phones, cameras, guns, surveillance name it," stated a source at the terrorism task force who spoke to us on condition of anonymity. "They also promised to put us in touch with al-Qaeda, but never actually followed through."

This morning's raids netted hundreds of pages of transcripts from internet chatrooms in which the RCMP anonymously made repeated references to al-Qaeda. Also confiscated were firearms, detailed maps of key public buildings and transportation systems, a large quantity of fertilizer that could be used in the making of a bomb, and some boxes of doughnuts which have been sent to local forensic labs for tests.

Canadian civil rights groups were quick to denounce the arrests as an infringement on Canadian sovereignty based solely on circumstantial evidence, but a spokesperson for the sting operation code-named Operation Scanner Darkly waved these objections aside.

"Nonsense," he said. "The RCMP were clearly in the aspirational stage of terrorism. We have averted the danger. Freedom, democracy,, these doughnuts really are quite excellent, aren't they?"

Further arrests are expected as soon as experts have cracked the code of the RCMP chatroom communiques.

First edited by bogger; then re-edited by me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maybe they could use the Da Vinci Code secret decoder ring from Father Guido Sarducci?

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