Thursday, January 12, 2006

The gods must be crazy

The Christian God apparently struck down Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon last week with a severe stroke in divine retribution for the Israeli withdrawal from Gaza.
Speaking on God's behalf, "The 700 Club" televangelist Pat Robertson who opposes the Gaza withdrawal explained, "God says, 'This land belongs to me, and you'd better leave it alone.' "
This was a much-needed win for Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition of America and a former presidential candidate, who in July unsuccessfully called for American operatives to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. and previously suggested that the State Department be blown up with a nuclear device and that feminism encourages women to "kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

Meanwhile the Muslim God was said to crush 345 of his followers to death and injure 289 others today for "hurrying". In a three day stoning ritual at Mecca, thousands of the faithful have from noon to sundown to throw 7 rocks at each of three pillars in order to purge themselves of sin. A total of 2.5 million pilgrims all throwing rocks in a time-limited event.
Saudi Interior Ministry spokesman Mansour al-Turki explained, "This was destined by God. Some pilgrims were undisciplined and hasty to finish the ritual as soon as possible."

At the very least the gods seem to be in need of some new management.

No comments:

Blog archive