Long John Flaherty's Talk Like a Prat Day

Long John Jim Flaherty's speech to the Canadian Club last week might well read like he was running for student council at Garden Gnome High, but at least he has finally nailed down that whole four legs good, two legs bad, one peg leg argument about coalitions :

In the global recession, the ship of state has had a difficult voyage.
But we can see the harbour lights.
And that’s just when a would-be captain and his ragtag crew are trying to storm the bridge.
If they seize the wheel, ladies and gentlemen, they’ll have us on the rocks.

Oh noes, pirate parties!

Flaherty, the Finance Minister of Canada, managed to fit the word 'coalition' 13 times into a speech in which the word 'economy' rated a mere 8. So are we in election mode? Fuck, no :

"The coalition led by Mr. Ignatieff has its own agenda – power, power, power.
Under an Ignatieff-NDP-Bloc Québécois government, nothing would be safe."

Sorry, wrong clip ... I scrolled too far ahead... ah, here we go :

"...there is, I regret to say, a political risk.
That is the risk of an unnecessary election, an election that would jeopardize our economic recovery, just as we enter the home stretch.
Canadians don’t want an election. Our government isn’t seeking one.
Ladies and gentlemen, an unnecessary election would put all of this at risk."

"Unnecessary election"?
Weren't you the same guys who already gave us an "unnecessary election" in 2008 because you had no freakin clue how to work with the other parties and you were hoping for a majority which would mean you wouldn't have to?

Canadians are tired of political instability.
They are tired of elections every two years.

Yeah, got it. You've said that twice now

And they know we need a stable government, to ensure our economic recovery and long-term growth.
There is going to be an election, sooner or later.
The coalition may make it sooner.
Regardless, when it comes, Canadians will face a stark choice.
The outcome will be a majority government, one way or another.
A stable, national majority under Stephen Harper’s leadership.
Or the reckless coalition of Michael Ignatieff, the NDP, and the Bloc Québécois.

Ok, forget the pirate thing. We've apparently metaphored into stables now. Stygian stables of steaming floor to ceiling horseshit.
"A stable national majority" under Steve the Unsteady?
The guy who rolls out of bed in the morning, spins the agenda wheel, and decides to axe anything with the word 'long' in it? Long form census one day; long gun registry the next.
Steve the Economist who pissed away a $13-billion dollar surplus in favour of a $40-billion deficit, who has the fucking gall to go on about our fragile economy while blowing $1.2 billion on summit security, and who padlocked the doors of Parliament twice in thirteen months rather than deal with living in a stable democracy.

You're not getting your Stygian stable majority, Steve, because even in a minority government you behave ridiculously like Darth Vader in the Deathstar cantine ordering up prorogies when you don't get your way.
You should have learned this from your last "unnecessary election".
Stability will only come from you learning to work nicely with the other elected , uh, pirates.
And that's why we keep giving them, not you, a stable majority of Canadian votes.
.

President Obama visits

.

the House of Commons portrait gallery.

"When you walk in the door, all you see are pictures of Stephen Harper. I'd say between every window, in every available space of the wall, at eye level, every available space has a photo of Stephen Harper."

I had captions on this earlier, but you don't really need them, do you?

.

A coronation if necessary but not necessarily a coronation

The puffin is a noble bird

He buries his own crap

But also Rae, Stephane Dion

And the coalition chaps.

No more a fan of torture

Or adventures in Iraq

He's been crowned by the Librulz

Just to fend off Gilles and Jack.

The rest of us are worried

What's hidden up his sleeve

But all will be forgiven

If he also buries Steve.

Steve gets a medal

Prime Minister Harper receives international human rights award :
"the B’nai Brith International President’s Gold Medallion, in recognition of the Government’s efforts to fight discrimination and uphold human rights in Canada and around the world."

In presenting the award, the B'nai Brith international president cited four "actions the Prime Minister and the Government have taken to advance human rights and oppose discrimination".

Of the four, two concern support for Israel, one is "unequivocally supporting Canada’s role in the UN-sanctioned mission in Afghanistan", and the fourth ... the fourth is "delivering a heartfelt apology" to the First Nations.


Irony could not be reached for comment.


And from NaPo : PM calls UN conference an 'anti-Western hatefest'
"Prime Minister Stephen Harper told a delegation of B'nai B'rith members yesterday that Canada is refusing to participate in a United Nations conference on racism :
"We will not be party to an anti-Semitic and anti-Western hatefest dressed up as an anti-racism conference."

Feb. 2 - Send-a-Mitten-to-Steve Day

The US has a national energy policy.

Mexico has a national energy policy.

Canada has....

Canada has transnational oil companies, NAFTA, and the SPP instead.

Despite exporting 70% of our oil and 61 % of our natural gas every year to the United States, we have no pipelines going east and thus are unable to provide for eastern Canada who must import their oil from Saudi and Albania. NAFTA also prevents us from ever reducing this outflow of our energy resources.

Today, Council of Canadians asks that we email a mitten to Steve, along with a short note demanding that consideration be given to the energy security needs of Canadians. Details here, and a list of cross-Canada action events here.

Yes, I too can think of many other alternative symbols I'd rather mail to Steve other than a mitten, but spare a moment's thought for the hapless posties and go read Five reasons why Canada needs a National Energy Strategy now! instead.

About that word "consensus"

When I use a word, Humpty Harper said in a rather scornful tone, it means just what I choose it to mean.

June 22, 2007 Macleans : Harper won't extend Afghan mission without consensus among Canadians

"Prime Minister Stephen Harper says he wants a consensus among Canadians, not just parliamentarians, about the country's future role in Afghanistan."

Sept 9, 2007 G&M : Tories willing to wait for Afghan consensus

"Prime Minister Stephen Harper says he will delay a vote on extending the Afghanistan mission will until he is sure that Parliament will agree to keep Canadian troops in the war-torn country past February 2009.

“But I don't see a necessity of rushing into a vote, unless we're able to have a situation where a vote would be successful, where there would be some agreement among at least some of the opposition parties that would carry the day and would give a mandate to our armed forces,” said Mr. Harper."

Sept 9, 2007 CNews : "Harper said he's still seeking a consensus, but a government official later said that consensus has to be in line with the government's wishes.
The official said that "consensus" means 50-per-cent plus one MP in a parliamentary vote."

The question is, said Humpty Harper, which is to be master - that is all.

Steve, talkin' trash

Impolitical asks : Why do Conservatives think it's OK to trash Canada's reputation while abroad?

Steve at APEC, 2007 : "Ladies and gentlemen, let me conclude by noting that one of the top priorities of our new government has been to restore Canada’s stature and influence on the world stage."

Well, Impolitical, it's actually sort of a timeless Con tradition :


Steve to US Council for National Policy, 1997 : "Canada is a Northern European welfare state in the worst sense of the term, and very proud of it."


Plus ça friggin' change...

Harper plans to recall Parliament on Oct 16

Hell, I can recall Parliament right now - it's that Gothic Revival building down in Ottawa where politicians spout inanities and bullshit, often in the same sentence :

In explaining why he prorogued Parliament, Harper said he was "pleased to report that Canada is united, our government is clean and our economy is strong. Now it’s time to launch the next phase of our mandate."

Evidently we've moved on to Getting Things More Doner...

SPP : Jelly beans and the DHS

At the Montebello press conference, a reporter asked Harper, Bush, and Calderon point blank whether the SPP agenda on border security, energy, and streamlining regulations was a prelude to a North American union and hey, what about that NAFTA highway?

Harper :

"Is the sovereignty of Canada going to fall apart if we standardize the jelly bean? You know, I don't think so."

Bush twice said he was "amused by the conspiracy theories" and "It's quite comical, actually, when you realize the difference between the reality and what some people are talking on TV about."

Jelly beans and Bush's particular take on reality vs TV. OK then.

The above letterhead is from one of the only internal government documents we have to date on the SPP. Obtained via a Freedom of Information request from the US government watchdog group, Judicial Watch, it is a memo from Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, this Michael Chertoff :

"I want to take this opportunity to thank you and your respective staffs for your support of the SPP up to this point. The components involved in the development of the SPP implementation report substantially advanced our homeland security agenda with Canada and Mexico." 

"DHS-led U.S.-Canada and U.S.-Mexico groups already in existence will take on the SPP actions within their scope. That said, the SPP has, in addition to identifying a number of new action items, comprehensively rolled up most of our existing homeland security-related policy initiatives with Canada and Mexico, and ongoing action and reporting in the various U.S.-Canada and U.S.-Mexico working groups led by DHS should now be driven by a single agenda : the SPP."

We now return you to your regularly scheduled coverage of jelly beans and Bush's take on reality.
.

Montebello SPP protest blog news

So seldom does one get to see riot police featured against a backdrop of beautiful verdant greenery. Or as Princess Leia put it : "A little short for a stormtrooper, aren't you?"

Photo by Jennifer at Runesmith's Canadian Content blog, back from the SPP protests at Montebello with her personal photos and stories and promises of more to come.

More pix and a good account of the Vancouver protests from Moonwolf at The News is Now Public.
I would only add to his account that the police were exceptionally well-behaved, staying well back from the protesters at all times ... except for those incidents where they were called upon to evict protesters from the lobbies of NACC businesses enroute.

In fact everyone was well behaved. So very Lotusland of us.
At one point during speeches outside the Art Gallery, I did see a very intense little huddle around two people on the ground under a chestnut tree so I went over to see what was going on. Just as I got there someone called out "Checkmate" and the little crowd dispersed.

Harsha from No One is Illegal announced that Harper had pronounced the protests "sad" and refused to allow the more than 10,000 anti-SPP petitions to be delivered at the Montebello gates. I mean it's not like he had to come out in his fuzzy slippers and personally accept input from Canadians or anything but you know Steve - always too busy being Steve.
Perhaps they should have told him it was a poll instead.

Lolsteve's lolcats

Name : Harley
Breed : Cat
Job : Getting votes for Steve

Meet Harley.gc.ca, the newest member of Harper's A-Majority-In-Ur-Dreamz Team.


You'll remember of course when pictures of a kinder gentler Steve playing with kittens first appeared on the official Government of Canada website, extolling the virtues of fostering pets. It's a worthy cause and I was pleased to see the Prime Minister take time out from his busy schedule of dismantling Canada to lend it his support.

Now, presumably in a bid to counteract that Strategic Council poll showing Steve to be trolling a lowly 26% among women in Canada, cute cat pictures are getting a higher profile with their own Adopt-A-Pet page.

Awwwww.

We look forward to the official Government of Canada howtotellwhenhescheatingonyou.gc.ca page, the losetwentypoundswithoutdieting.gc.ca page, and of course that old standard, thebrazilianisitforyou?.gc.ca page.

Steve V at Far and Wide asks when all this kitty adoration is going to translate into some movement on two current animal cruelty bills that have been languishing in obscurity back in Ottawa. We've had numerous variations on these bills for ten years now. Surely there is some variation that the NRA, the Canadian Veterinary Association, the sealing lobby, and the medical researchers could live with that is enforceable. Other nations have managed it, you know.

The Harper Latin American World Tour News Template.

On Monday in Columbia, Harper pronounced as a "ridiculous position" the idea that Canada should tie human rights guarantees to corporate profits. President Uribe's cousin, the former state security chief, and many of Uribe's political backers are accused of providing a death list of union leaders to paramilitary hitmen.
"When we see a country like Colombia ... that wants to embrace democracy and human rights, then we say, 'We're in," [Harper] said."

On Wednesday in Chile, Harper pronounced as "utter nonsense" the idea that Latin America is caught between the extremes of Bush and Venezuela's Chavez.
"Canada's very existence demonstrates that the choice is a false one. Canada's political structures differ substantially from those in the United States," he said, shortly before ducking into the back door of Canadian mining company Barrick Gold to avoid facing protesters out front accusing the Canadian company of environmental and human rights violations and crimes against indigenous peoples.

On Friday, Harper will be in Haiti.
Hell, we don't have to wait till Friday - we can do that one right now. Fill it in yourself :

On Friday in Haiti, Harper pronounced as "____" the idea that Canada, along with ____, was responsible for the ____ of the democratically elected government of _____, or the mass _____ and the two year period of _____ that followed. In response to the ____ in the shanty town of ____ in Dec 2006, Peter MacKay applauded the massacre of innocent ____ and ____ as "_____".

“From hockey championships to humanitarian and military leadership roles in Afghanistan and Haiti, we can say again this year that Canada is a citizen of the world and we make our contribution in a positive way.”
- Stephen Harper, Canada Day Greeting, July 1, 2007

UPDATE : From the real G&M story, Jul. 20 :
“We are there to help the people of Haiti break the cycle of poverty and violence,” Mr. Harper said.
“It faces a long road of institution-building, police and judicial reform and social recovery,” Mr. Harper continued. “But together, we will stay the course.”

UPDATE 2 : Fixed link to Steve's "We will stay the course."

Rich young francophone women do NOT want to go for a beer with Harper

according to a Strategic Counsel poll in the G&M I found over at Cathie's.

• 46 % of men support sending troops to Afghanistan, but only 27 % of women.
• 17% of French-speakers and 26% of women would vote Con
• 31% earning over $100,000 would vote Con

"Terrorism and Afghanistan were ranked as the third most important issues to Canadians, behind the environment and health care," reported Strategic Counsel, the traditional polling allies of Harper.

Reached for comment, a Harper spokesperson blamed the low polling numbers on the next thirteen years of Liberal misrule.

Steve and Sandra - Spinning the war

Last month Steve got a report from The Strategic Council :
It said - G&M : Change tune on war, PM told
July 8 - Calgary Herald : Tories shift Afghan stance
July 13 - G&M : New Afghan rhetoric a ploy to sway Liberals

Ordinary Steve

Facebook profile.

Hitlertude in the House!

In response to Elizabeth May comparing Con environment policy to Neville Chamberlain's appeasement of the Nazis, Harper told the House about : :

" a copy of a letter I received from Ed Morgan, the national president of the Canadian Jewish Congress, noting that[ ] Elizabeth May has diminished the Holocaust, used the Nazi analogy that is demagogic and inappropriate, while belittling Canadians of faith.

I think the Leader of the Opposition should be able to say that he believes that diminishing the Holocaust and using Nazi analogies are inappropriate."

Why, it seems like only yesterday that Jason Kenney addressed Congregation Beth Israel Beth Aaron, accusing "genocidal" Iran of seeking "a final solution, in a perverted twist on history, that would complete the work Hitler began."

Defending Kenney, Stockwell Day explained that comparing Hezbollah to the Nazis — as his caucus colleague Jason Kenney did this month (Sept 2006) — was a "straight historic analogy."

So there ya go. Analogies invoking Chamberlain are "demogogic, inappropriate, and belittle the Holocaust and Canadians of faith", but if you go straight for the Hitler, you've got yourself a "historic analogy".

Hansard link via Steve at Far and Wide, who lays into the disingenuous poo flinging that is Question Period.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

Globe&Mail : PM's stylist also works as a psychic
Responding to questions as to whether Harper's face fluffer also gives him and Laureen psychic advice, Sandra Buckler replied :

"She doesn't. I don't care what she is. She is very helpful. She carries the bags. She opens the door. She is very nice."

Ok, so according to Buckler, Michelle Muntean is actually more like a psychic porter then.
And she certainly has that trademark lego haircut down, doesn't she, Q?

Getting things rebranded for all of us

A screen shot of the website of the ruling party of Canada.

The "flip flop" background behind Dion is a nice touch.

But the best part is their headline : "Replacing Liberal Talk with Real Action on Climate Change".

How very true. One of the 'things Steve got done' this month was to eliminate the Climate Change Policy Directorate at Environment Canada after rebranding their initiatives as his own. The CCPD are the experts "responsible for implementing new policy, co-ordinating climate-change efforts among different government departments, and analyzing their potential impact."

CJOB : "The memo came just as the prime minister embarked on a national tour to announce a series of green initiatives that were largely prepared by the division now being dismantled."

Hey, thanks for the great green talking points for Steve's road trip, guys, but I reckon your work is all done now.

"The (policy) work now is being done by a very small handful of people under the direct supervision of (the Privy Council Office) and Prime Minister's Office."

Getting Things Rebranded For All of Us.

List of rebranded initiatives at CJOB

Horrible CPoC screen shot via link at Ottawonk.

UPDATE : My Blahg : Canada's Climate Change Plan

"Pithy sound bites"

Tories off to pre-election 'boot camp'
Candidates to be drilled: Possible revival of the Big Blue Machine?

"Hundreds of federal Conservative candidates and campaign workers will converge on a Toronto convention centre this week for a political "boot camp" designed to prepare them for the next election.
Over three days of activities starting on Friday at the Toronto Congress Centre, candidates will be drilled in everything from the basics of door-to-door canvassing to the art of delivering the pithy sound bite."

Some "pithy sound bites" from previous ConservAllianceReform campaigns that very probably won't be making the cut this time round :

"In the 1950s, buggery was a criminal offence. Now it's a requirement to receive benefits from the federal government." ~ Garry Breitkreuz

"Old age security is welfare for the aged." ~ Paul Forseth

"The Canadian Alliance simply couldn't support the tone and overall direction of a Report that failed to recognize the tremendous gains that manufacturers and user groups of pesticides have been making for years to make human health and safety their top priority." ~ Rahim Jaffir

"I do support the idea of private health care."~ Jason Kenney

"I think that all the Indians should all be sent to Labrador, to all live together in peace and leave us in peace." ~ Ricardo Lopez

"My riding has the largest Iranian population in the country. At least 40% of all the Iranians living there are refugee claimants. Most of them are bogus." ~ Ted White

"Hostility in Canada to Christian teachings about the sanctity of the family and life has resulted in persecution here at home... The government has launched a campaign of intimidation to silence churches by dispatching tax collectors to threaten the charitable tax status of denominations who speak out against the Liberal government." ~ Cheryl Gallant

"The fact is that homosexuals aren’t barred from marrying under Canadian law... Marriage is open to everybody as long as they’re a man and a woman." ~ Jason Kenney

"It's past time the feds scrapped the Canada Health Act." ~ Stephen Harper

"Canada appears content to become a second-tier socialistic country, boasting ever more loudly about its economy and social services to mask its second-rate status." ~ Stephen Harper

"[Y]our country [the USA], and particularly your conservative movement, is a light and an inspiration to people in this country{Canada] and across the world." ~ Stephen Harper

Lots more at In Their Own Words though, in case they run out.

Ipsos Reid : Getting Things Done For CanWest

Check out the branding from Ipsos Reid for their Canadians Assess Their Federal Leaders poll for CanWest :

“Someone who will get things done”

• Stephen Harper (51%)
• Stephane Dion (25 %)
• Jack Layton (24 %)

Someone who will get things done?
Someone who will get things done?

Gosh, I don't know that one.
Can I do the one about "the thirteen years" instead?

Accidental Deliberations takes it apart.